[+/-] : 名人專欄》陳豐偉：忘不了的舊情人 - 感情困擾多 - 兩性健康 - udn健康醫藥

陳豐偉：忘不了的舊情人 2009/05/16 【元氣周報／陳豐偉】 詢問憂鬱症病人起因時，滿常聽到「難忘的舊情人」。「我經歷過一段失敗的婚姻，現在的先生對我很好，但我一直忘不掉跟我分手的舊情人。我很愛他，分手帶給我很大的打擊，讓我一直鬱鬱不樂，也造成我盲目地嫁給會家暴的第一任丈夫」，類似的敘述不斷出現。 許多憂鬱病人腦中常存在一段如幽靈鬼魅揮之不去的回憶，睡前悔恨，白日繼續想起，連夜半夢醒時還是無法逃離。睹物思情，就算刻意迴避，只要碰到相似的場景、熟悉的氛圍，糾纏的記憶立刻湧上，佔滿大腦，甚至妨礙正常的思考，難以專心。 其他情節重大出乎預料之外的創傷，也可能會成為纏繞一輩子的痛苦。冠軍賽被擊出再見全壘打的救援投手、一念之差買了連動債賠上幾百萬的家庭主婦、雖然公公已衰老但一想起就被過去威嚴嚇到發抖的媳婦、分手後忍不住還要到舊情人家看新歡摩托車在不在的落魄男子，這些揮之不去的念頭讓他們難以重回正常生活。 就如「佛洛伊德的近視眼」書中所述，人類的大腦天生就有「自我感覺良好」的本能，盡量對各種事情做正面樂觀、對自己有利的詮釋，並修正自己的記憶。睡眠研究則發現，人在作夢時會逐漸修正創傷事件的情節，改寫成內心能接受的版本。憂鬱症病人可能在自我詮釋、合理化時遇到困難，或創傷事件帶來的負面情緒太凝重，導致難以擺脫。這時很難刻意要病人不想，甚至愈克制愈焦慮，愈不想愈常出現，彷彿強迫意念無法刪除。 如何解除創傷記憶？這是最困難的課題之一。最極端的方法是「電療」，能讓病人很快心情愉悅、放鬆，但代價是原本已學會的技能會忘掉一些。兼具降血壓與抗焦慮雙效的Inderal可削弱創傷記憶的作用，但也可能會影響其他短期記憶形成。倒是許多研究認為在支持性的環境下將創傷訴說出來，或透過會談與治療師一起探索，才能讓負面記憶找到出路，不再四處攀爬。 倒是，讓你留下深刻印象、永難忘懷的，真的是對你最重要、帶來最多快樂的情人嗎？也許他只是帶給你最多負面情緒。但帶有負面情緒的記憶最難遺忘，而反覆思索時不斷強化的腦電流又讓這段記憶更深刻、如影隨形。其他沒有情緒起伏、身形模糊的情人，就這樣淡淡走出你的人生。記憶並不理性，選擇性遺忘的過程未必符合你的利益或主觀意識，「忘不了的舊情人」常會讓人忽略到底誰最關心自己。 歡迎瀏覽作者網站：http://blog.eroach.net"...
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[+/-] : Beethoven's Immortal Beloved Letters

July 6, in the morning My angel, my all, my very self - Only a few words today and at that with pencil (with yours) - Not till tomorrow will my lodgings be definitely determined upon - what a useless waste of time - Why this deep sorrow when necessity speaks - can our love endure except through sacrifices, through not demanding everything from one another; can you change the fact that you are not wholly mine, I not wholly thine - Oh God, look out into the beauties of nature and comfort your heart with that which must be - Love demands everything and that very justly - thus it is to me with you, and to your with me. But you forget so easily that I must live for me and for you; if we were wholly united you would feel the pain of it as little as I - My journey was a fearful one; I did not reach here until 4 o'clock yesterday morning. Lacking horses the post-coach chose another route, but what an awful one; at the stage before the last I was warned not to travel at night; I was made fearful of a forest, but that only made me the more eager - and I was wrong. The coach must needs break down on the wretched road, a bottomless mud road. Without such postilions as I had with me I should have remained stuck in the road. Esterhazy, traveling the usual road here, had the same fate with eight horses that I had with four - Yet I got some pleasure out of it, as I always do when I successfully overcome difficulties - Now a quick change to things internal from things external. We shall surely see each other soon; moreover, today I cannot share with you the thoughts I have had during these last few days touching my own life - If our hearts were always close together, I would have none of these. My heart is full of so many things to say to you - ah - there are moments when I feel that speech amounts to nothing at all - Cheer up - remain my true, my only treasure, my all as I am yours. The gods must send us the rest, what for us must and shall be - Your faithful LUDWIG Evening, Monday, July 6 You are suffering, my dearest creature - only now have I learned that letters must be posted very early in the morning on Mondays to Thursdays - the only days on which the mail-coach goes from here to K. - You are suffering - Ah, wherever I am, there you are also - I will arrange it with you and me that I can live with you. What a life!!! thus!!! without you - pursued by the goodness of mankind hither and thither - which I as little want to deserve as I deserve it - Humility of man towards man - it pains me - and when I consider myself in relation to the universe, what am I and what is He - whom we call the greatest - and yet - herein lies the divine in man - I weep when I reflect that you will probably not receive the first report from me until Saturday - Much as you love me - I love you more - But do not ever conceal yourself from me - good night - As I am taking the baths I must go to bed - Oh God - so near! so far! Is not our love truly a heavenly structure, and also as firm as the vault of heaven? Good morning, on July 7 Though still in bed, my thoughts go out to you, my Immortal Beloved, now and then joyfully, then sadly, waiting to learn whether or not fate will hear us - I can live only wholly with you or not at all - Yes, I am resolved to wander so long away from you until I can fly to your arms and say that I am really at home with you, and can send my soul enwrapped in you into the land of spirits - Yes, unhappily it must be so - You will be the more contained since you know my fidelity to you. No one else can ever possess my heart - never - never - Oh God, why must one be parted from one whom one so loves. And yet my life in V is now a wretched life - Your love makes me at once the happiest and the unhappiest of men - At my age I nedd a steady, quiet life - can that be so in our connection? My angel, I have just been told that the mailcoach goes every day - therefore I must close at once so that you may receive the letter at once - Be calm, only by a clam consideration of our existence can we achieve our purpose to live together - Be calm - love me - today - yesterday - what tearful longings for you - you - you - my life - my all - farewell. Oh continue to love me - never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved. ever thine ever mine ever ours"...
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